Punk Spunk
by I'mahermit
Summary: Romano/Prussia Canada/Prussia: lots of pot, lots of swearing, & some NSFW specific TW for specific chapters. Gilbert's a stoner with no real direction in life and now he's forced to mingle with teens from small town America.
1. Prologue

Yo, I don't own the original material, APH. I high-key hate this show so goddamn much but, I still spent days on this. Some NSFW, lots of swearing, underage drug use, and my terrible German if you don't vibe with any of that y'know the door is that'a way kids.

A loud blaring sound went through Gilbert's headphones. The country side of northwest America went by the car window. His younger brother Ludwig, the golden child, was reading his copy of The Great Gatsby and marking the text. The car was silent. He had been kicked out of the district for getting caught selling pot. His family didn't really have the financial stability to move to the countryside just so he could go to a different school district so, he was being forcibly moved in with his grandfather. They came into a small town. The only real "chain" store was a singular AMPM and one Mcdonalds. Several teens were jogging together. When they finally stopped it was at an old farmhouse. Gilbert's grandfather was sitting on his porch with his "Prugelstange". It was feared part of the weekends he spent with the man.

"Guten morgen Vati, wie gehts," Gilbert's dad made a point to speak German in front of his father.

"Nicht schlecht, und du mein sohn."

"Sehr gut. Gilbert take your stuff inside and greet your GroBvater." His dad yelled.

"Guten morgen GroBvater. Bitte," Gilbert grabbed his bags and walked inside the house. It smelled like old lady. When he walked into the guest bedroom he noticed his family driving off. Dicks. He opened his bag and started to lay out his clothes, a mountain of black, in the closet. In the bottom of his bag in a tucked away corner was a baggie of edibles, some joints, and two packs of cigarettes. He tucked them into the fake bottom of the drawer he had installed in the nightstand when first started staying the night to test the waters. GroBvati was in the other room already snoring on the couch. Gilbert opened up his phone and started to look on Discord to see if any of his friends had tried to contact him. Nothing was there. He turned his music up and went to scope out the town. The first thing he did was walk to the little AMPM. It had a small guy operating the cashier. He was scowling at the door when Gilbert walked in. He had dark auburn hair and tanned skin.

"I see you, you better not be shoplifting you little shit," the teen had a bit of an italian accent but, that wasn't important bitch was picking fights.

"Hey fucker is that how you say hello in butt-fuck nowhere."

"Just shut up and leave. I don't want shoplifting punks here on my shift."

"Oh yeah, I wasn't gonna but now. You ain't even gonna know what I take you're just gonna know something's missing."

"Really, what you gonna do."

"I'll suck your dicc man don't test me, I'm gay and lonely." The cashier took a step back. His face contorted. Gilbert scoffed, to add a little extra bit of intimidation he grabbed a piece of paper and wrote his number on it saying DTF. No one out does a queer German. Gilbert approached the counter. "Two packs of marlboro." The kid stared down at him questioning if he should card him.

"Twenty bucks." Gilbert handed him a twenty and walked out. He felt a slight buzz in his pocket. An unknown number texted him. 'Are you really gay'. Gilbert texted back yes. There was nothing, no response. When he got back to GroBvati's the man was passed out. Gilbert grabbed a beer from the fridge and opened up his phone. He texted back the kid asking why he was interested.

'I think i'm gay and I wanna be sure.' Gilbert laughed softly.

'So what the hell do you want me to do.'

'I need someone who's actually gay and doesn't know anyone here. I need an outsider.'

'For what I don't date kids who look twelve.'

'I turn eighteen in a week and it wouldn't be a date. Too many people would see.'

'I'm gonna choose to play dumb for a fat minute. I repeat what exactly do you want me to do.'

'I want to try something so, I know for sure. Then we'd never talk again. I just need to know.'

'Then text me when you're free, I want to know exactly what before I agree.'

'I get off my shift in an hour. At 2 pm.'

'Fine, come to 4256 12th street. We can talk.'

"Ok.'

'Bring what you need to try and we can talk if I'm ok with it.'

'Ok.'

Gilbert laughed again much louder. What the fuck did he look like a gay whore. Like damn some rando twink asking to experiment with him. I mean hot headed pretty boy is a major plus but, he was an asshole. Gilbert walked back to the fridge and put the leftover beer away. An hour and possible booty call from some baby gay.

At 1:50 Lovino rang the doorbell. He was wearing a sweatshirt and a sick mask. He had a paper bag in his hands. Gilbert opened the door in his slippers.

"Gilbert Bielschmidt local queer." Lovino laughed a little before hurriedly stepping in.

"Lovino Vargas," he followed Gilbert through the house. It was fairly empty except for a few pictures on the wall. The whole house smelled like an old lady and a little bit of beer. They walked into Gilbert's room and sat on his bed.

"The walls are soundproof since this was a work out room for my Vati when he lived here." Lovino nodded, he handed Gilbert the bag. Inside was a bag of condoms, some cherry lube, and a handwritten coupon to the AMPM for him not to card Gilbert when he was there. "Yeah, I can do this for yah. The card is very much appreciated."

"I just don't wanna owe you, you have something on me I need something on you." Gilbert put his hand on Lovino's thigh. His leg lightly spasmed before relaxing. Gilbert cupped Lovino's back and kissed him it was light before transitioning to be more intense. Lovino felt Gilbert's hand creep towards his inner thigh. He pushed away flustered. "This is too much." Gilbert sat back up.

"For the record you're gay."

"What did you say."

"You're a gayby sweet pea."

"No you just tried to skew my mind and infect me. You dirty dirty f-." Gilbert cut him off with a kiss.

"Calm down heteroni and cheese. Call me when you find your balls." Lovino stormed out of Gilbert's room and out of the house. When he slammed the door Gilbert's GroBvati woke up for a singular second before falling back asleep. Gilbert groaned, you say you wanna try something and turn on poor gay on then puss out. How dare. He looked down at the bag Lovino left. He left his phone, dumb bitch. Gilbert picked up the phone. The lock screen was a pic of Lovino smiling with a group of people who looked vaguely similar. There was no lock on the phone. He swiped and saw a cluster of apps. Some were social media funnily enough his photo album was in the same folder as grinder. He decided to stop snooping after going through the photo album and seeing a thousand stalker pics of some dude playing soccer. Gilbert called the home number. A high energetic voice picked up.

"Fratello, this is a first you're calling us." The girl who picked up had a very sweet voice.

"Ah no, Lovino left his phone at my house and I figured he wanted it back." It was silent on the line for a second.

"Oh, Lovi made a friend," Gilbert heard yelling in the background, "Roma Lovi made a friend. Thank you bello for the message we will tell him." Gilbert smiled. Sounded like a really cute and sweet girl. Ludwig would love to meet her. He stood up and went back into the kitchen to make dinner after taking a long shower. Gilbert was making some strudel, it wasn't the most nutritional thing but, damn was it good. After dinner Gilbert went outside to have a smoke, he was trying to hold back but he still needed to hold off the shakes. It was relaxing, rather soothing.

Gilbert woke up to a stick poking him in the face, his GroBvater had his prugelstange in hand and seemed to be ready to use it.

"Gilbert, es ist Morgan."

"Ja, I know GroBvater i'm getting up."

"Auf Deutsch," GroBvater had long blonde hair and was barely up but, by the time he was awake he was yelling. Gilbert glared at the man. There was a plate of sausages on the table guarded by his GroBvater's rosary. They put their hands on the table while his GroBvater mutter grace. The doorbell rang.

"Buongiorno, Beilschmidt," a large italian man opened the door with Lovino hiding behind him scowling.

"Your young grandson called us saying Lovi left his phone here." GroBvater looked at Gilbert who got up and went to his room to grab the phone. Lovino snatched it out of his hands. "You know since they're such good friends they should hang out today,"

"Roma, I have work today."

"No you don't. I know your shifts." Lovino sighed and reserved to his fate. "Beilschmidt what do you say."

"Sure. I'll be napping." GroBvater fairly quickly cleaned the dishes and collapsed on his chair. Roma left and left Lovino there with one gay German.

"Yesterday was a mistake, it's never happening again." With in ten minutes Lovino's clothes were on the floor and he was tangled with Gilbert on his bed. Gilbert's hand went towards Lovino's thigh before he started to prep him. For Lovino he just sat there occasionally he would kiss Gilbert back, or he would lightly bite him but nothing else. He was gaging his body's reaction, Gilbert grazed his inner thigh again before actually inserting himself into Lovino. Lovino bit his tongue and held onto the bed sheet. This was just a test, it's natural to have a reaction. It was what he had to tell himself. Gilbert came and pulled out. He threw the used condom in the trash before he focused on Lovino. He sat on the floor and put his mouth on Lovino's upper middle thigh making his way up to the thing he was actually after. Lovino clenched his thighs on Gilbert's head. Gilbert pulled away for a second. Lovino finished having most of it end up on Gilbert's face and hair. He grabbed at Lovino's shirt which was tossed on the nightstand to clean up. "Don't use my shirt dick head, It'll stain." Gilbert threw it back on the floor.

"Well it ain't from me so don't even think about using anything of mine."

"Can I just take a shower gaylord."

"Least I'm not a bottom

"Least I don't fuck dudes."

"Least I'm not a fagguette." Gilbert stuck his tongue out at Lovino. Lovino stood up and went to the shower. He limped slightly getting up. "Fuck my ass hurts. Damn."

"Yeah, yeah. Oh you're gonna want to make sure to wash your dick. Chad saliva and so on." Lovino made a face and limped to the bathroom. When he looked in the mirror he had light pink hickeys and bite marks littering his chest and thighs. In the shower he followed Gilbert's advice and had a small break down in the shower. Gilbert banged on the door to get out.

"I swear to God either get out or I shower with you."

"No balls, you won't." Gilbert opened the door and started to strip. Lovino tried to run out of the shower but, he slipped and fell on his face. Gilbert tried to lift him up, but at this point he was already in his boxers and Lovino had enough physical contact. So he tried to get up again. He sat up and Fell right back into Gilbert's lap. Gilbert stood him up. He touched Lovino's soapy shoulder and got in the shower. "Gil I was using that. Get the hell out."

"I sucked your dick and got cum on my face no lip." Lovino got back in the shower. They showered avoiding all possible eye contact. Lovino got out first.

"Gilbert where are my clothes."

"In my room."

"But"

"Grobvater is asleep and I've seen you naked no one in the house cares. Hell I'm pretty much done, I'll come with you." Lovino sneaked around the corner to Gilbert's room. Gilbert's GroBvater looked back from the TV to see his grandson and his friend's grandson walking away from the shower naked. He didn't say a thing. Lovino put his pants on.

"I think I know what I needed to know."

"You gay?"

"Yeah, probably."

"Probably? You just got fucked by a dude and judging from your reaction you enjoyed it."

"Yeah, that's what I'm worried about."

"Why worry."

"because I like guys and now I know that it means in the eyes of god, I am a sinner."

"Well why love a god if he doesn't love you for you."

"Yeah but, what if I my family never forgives me for it."

"Then get a new family."

"You know, for a random dude that I asked to confirm if I could or more over enjoy gay sex you're pretty chill," Lovino smiled and went back to being angry. He got up and walked out. Little bit of a summer fling before his senior year. Lovino was kinda glad he would never see Gilbert again. At Least now he knew, and he could just finish highschool pretending he didn't know. No reminder that he was this different or out of place. Especially about the fact he got fucked by a guy he just met. Lovino was glad to not have to have any reminder he was gay until he moved out.


	2. 1

Hi again, this is the real start. I don't own APH blah blah blah. TW for swearing, NSFW, and more drugs.

Gilbert tied his combat boots that he had painted white skulls on. He slipped on his Rammstein band shirt from their last tour. His pants were ripped and he had just rebleached his hair. He headed out the door with one bag filled with weed and cigarettes to sell for some spending money. The school was a five minute walk from his house that ended with a brick building full of hicks. In the halls Gilbert saw Lovino. He choked out a small laugh. He crept up behind him, covered his eyes and loudly yelled

"guess who fagguette." Lovino elbowed him in the dick. He turned on his heel. Lovino grabbed his sleeve and led him to a water closet. The late bell rang.

"If you dare tell fucking anyone I will slit your nads," Lovino sighed, "I'll do pretty much anything to keep it underwraps I want to ignore it as long as possible."

"That's really not healthy. How bout this we "meet" up once a week and try to not have you be a repressed little Catholic boy then I won't tell a soul you bottom." Lovino faintly blushed before shaking Gilbert's hand.

"When do we meet."

"Fridays we alternate on who chooses the place. You can bring anything you wanna try and I'll be open minded." Gilbert smiled lightly.

"I'm busy this friday, can I do it today. Just cause I'm busy not cause I like you or anything." Gilbert pulled Lovino in close and undid his tie and button up. He tied the tie around a pipe in the water closet and bound Lovino's hands. Gilbert unzipped his pants and stuck his hand down the front of Lovino's Boxers. He bit Lovino's sides and neck. Gilbert reached around Lovino who was tied up in such a way he was facing away from him. Gilbert spat on his hand before prepping him. Despite the jabs and all he didn't want to hurt him. Gilbert grabbed at Lovino's thighs and rubbed the front of his boxers before entering. Lovino made a small squeak. He stifled any other noise by burying his head in Gilbert's arms. Gilbert continued to thrust while jerking off Lovino till he came on his tie still hanging on the pipes.

"Can you get out and untie for a moment I wanna try something." Gilbert laughed and pulled out and untied Lovino. He positioned himself to be at crotch level with Gil. Gingerly Lovino took the condom off Gilbert. He put his mouth to his thighs and bit Gilbert's inner thigh before starting to suck him off. Gilbert had his hand stroking Lovino's hair, lightly fondling every little fly away. Lovino pursed his lips around Gilbert's dicc to try and not stain everything with punk semen.

"Damn my tie's all dirty now dickhead."

"Just don't wear it."

"Yeah, but it ends up popping buttons off and then people see your bite marks."

"Then wear my shirt and I'll take yours."

"Yeah, but-".

"No buts," Gilbert threw his band shirt at Lovino and put on the other shirt. Because their bust size was different he had to wear it with the top three buttons undone. When they were dressed they snuck out to the halls to finish their classes. Gilbert went to his already half finished first period to have everyone staring him down. He had one nip hanging out and a lot of Lovino's hickeys and bites. He sat down in an empty chair next to some blond kid. He was wearing a red sweatshirt and doodling on a notebook. His hair was wavy blonde and shoulder length. Gilbert scoffed at him shying away from him. The kid seemed kinda terrified by the though of some badly dressed gay whore talking to him. Which only meant one thing to Gilbert, he had to mess with him. The chairs were set up so there was two people to a small table. Gilbert leaned in close to the kid to the point he could feel his warm breath. The other boy shuddered away. He was breathing heavily and reached into his bag. He tazed Gilbert in the mid thigh then kicked him to the ground.

"What the hell you fucking phsyco," Gilbert screamed

"You were in my space and breathing in my ear, I thought you were going to jump me. I was making a preemptive strike," he mumbled most of what he said but, Gilbert got it.

"So you tazed me in the goddamn leg. The most I would've done was suck your dick. People in this dumb town have no chill." The entire class was staring but, at this point they went dead silent. You couldn't even hear them breathe. The blonde tased him again in the silence. "The fuck again. Goddam, what set you off about a free blow job." The blonde teen starting reciting prayers frantically while he legitimately looked like he was about to cry. "Carry on don't mind me. Just continue your class." The entire class continued to simply stare at him.

"No I am done just leave," their teacher said loudly. Most of the kids started to quickly file out muttering amougnst themselves about the Gay Whore in their class. "Hold up trouble makers." Gilbert and blondie stopped turning towards their teacher. Blondie looked like he was about to piss himself. "I want to see you two here at 6 am for detention tomorrow," he spoke curtley and kicked them out of his classroom. Blondie elbowed past him towards his next class. Gilbert started to make his way towards Lovino in the hallway.

"Hey, Lovi do you know Blondie over there." Lovino stared dead at Gil.

"Do I fucking know you," Lovino was deadpanned and standing near a group of his freinds. He nodded at them to walk on without him. "Gilbert, I swear to god. I do not know you in public what the hell do you want."

"I wanted to know someone's name, but he already ran out. Thanks anyway," when Gilbert walked past Lovino he got in close and licked Lovi's ear. He got elbowed in the stomach for that one. Gilbert started to riffle through his bag in his next class taking out his phone and headphones. He hooked them up and started to play some good old fashioned Motley Crue starting with Dr Feelgood. He then turned it all the way up as you do with bops. The fucking guitar and bass mixed together just made anyone want to dance. Gilbert held back but, he did do some light nodding to the music, I mean if you didn't you were probably deaf. A kid nudged him lightly. She had long brown hair and kind eyes.

"We can all hear your music."

"Yeah, my B." Gilbert took out his headphones and started playing on the loudest setting without them. The class stared at him. The girl burst out laughing.

"You want a trophy for being ballsy," she said still cracking up. Gilbert laughed too.

"What's with the accent it's like polish or something."

"Not even close rocker, it's hungarian. I lived in Budapest for most of my life."

"I mean valid, my families straight from Germany."

"Cool but, man we gonna get." They both got sent outside fairly quickly after. Fact it was right after she said that.

"What's your name my fellow central European." She laughed again.

"Elizabeta, just call me Eliza it's a mouthful. Your name's Gilbert yeah."

"Yeah, how-"

"News spreads fast when you sexually harass the student council pres," Eliza said coyly.

"Who, Lovi or the dude who tased me."

"You messed with Lovino and didn't get beat up. That takes some talent, but no. Taser. You pissed off Mathew Williams the student president."

"Lovi doesn't beat on me, he knows better."

"What you have dirt on the little shit. I swear, I met him as a middle schooler and he has been an ass ever since."

"Yeah, he has a nice ass though. That's a nice plus. Who doesn't like an angry pretty boy to top."

"Shit man. Lovino isn't a homo though."

"Yeah sure. My gaydar pinged him immediately but, I can't say anything more about him being a bottom."

"He what. Now you have to tell me."

"So, I was buying some cigarettes for myself and he was being an asshole so I said I'd suck his dick and gave him my number. He called me and he chickened out. He came back, we fucked. And then again in the morning," Gilbert slipped off Lovino's shirt, "Fact, this is his shirt and these are from him," Gilbert beamed at his accomplishment and the attention from Eliza.

"Thought I recognized that shirt, oh conqueror of the angry twink we bow before thee." Gilbert bursted out laughing.

"Man, for a chick from fucking butt fuck nowwhere you're pretty chill."

"I try. Hey gimme your phone man," Eliza grabbed Gilbert's phone and entered her number. She pretty much immediately texted him a pic of big Chungas. A bit out of date but, A for effort. Gilbert stood up and grabbed his stuff.

"Eliza dude, you wanna jet."

"Jesus Christ where are you from the fucking 90s?"

"I have treats that the school will eat my ass for having." Eliza shrugged and walked out with him. They walked out and towards a small isolated park that looked like it hadn't had a visitor in 30 years. It was dilapidated to say the least. Gilbert sat down at a crumbling picnic table, he swung his bag onto the table. Unpacking it he got out his bong and a bottle of Blaue Maus whiskey.

"You have any weed to go with the bong or is it just for show." Gilbert smirked and grabbed a baggy of weed and a water bottle. They sat smoking and drinking for about an hour. Gilbert poured out the bong water at about 3 and put the whiskey away shortly after. To put it lightly they were baked.

"Man, Lovi got a nice ass and man, if you heard the little dude it very nice."

"I know you told me my guy, but does he succ dicc." Gilbert waited for about a minute.

"Yes." They both started to laugh uncontrollably.

"He's a fucking bottom."

"He a bottom." Someone came out of the bushes and splashed them both in ice water. Gilbert's GroBvater looked sternly at them. His Prugalstange in hand.

"Tsah popps. You came to smokey smokey with us. Just don't tell my Dad he'll be pissed." Gilbert smirked, Eliza was dead silent.

"At least the girl has some survival instinct."

"She do? Bruh, she took weed from some Germo new boy. That ain't it chief." GroBvater picked up Gilbert by his torso and started the laborious walk back to his house. Eliza pressed her lips to a line. She packed her and Gil's stuff, then walked together with them. It was dead silent, Gilbert conked out immediately after touching his bed. Leaving Eliza to deal with the brunt of his GroBvater's verbal assault. He laid into her for an hour before letting her go. He woke Gilbert up with a wooden spoon tapping on his head. Three wacks every time he was disappointed in him. It left no marks but, it hurt like a bitch. He was grounded for a month. Once his GroBvater left the room to "Gab" Gilbert grabbed his phone and texted a little apology to Eliza.

'No biggie man. It was fun. My Grandma would have beaten me with the Ru'd.'

Gilbert smiled at his phone. His GroBvater immediately burst into his room with the landline in hand.

"Gilbert, Für du Ich will sprechen englisch. Don't get used to it. I contacted a friend who's sonne will be monitoring you. Das es für du. Ich liebe dich, meine Enkel. Guten nacht Liebling."

"Guten nacht Großvater. Ich liebe dich." Gilbert snuggled into his comforter. Today was a bad day and he was itching for a smoke but, he was already on thin ice. He decided to simply go to bed.


	3. 2

He woke up to yelling in the foye. His GroBvater was yelling at the TV and he heard a second voice. It was that Mattie dude meekly talking to his GroBvater. They were laughing at the TV showing reruns of Die Mumins Familie. Gilbert put on a cannibal corpse T shirt special just to freak out the little dweeb. It was Tomb of the Mutilated featuring greyed out gory figures proforming an abortion. Special from the 1992 debut of the album, Gilbert ordered it special. He paired it with some hiking boots and black skinny jeans. With an extra bonus for his GroBvater some eyeshadow and eyeliner. The perfect outfit to make his peers afraid and pissed off. He left his room and confronted Mattie and his GroBvater.

"Gilbert, this is M-."

"Mattie. I know him. Made his acquaintance yesterday," Gilbert smiled at him. Mathew looked visibly sick to his stomach. He was in that same red sweatshirt. "We gonna go or are you too invested in Mumin." Mathew nodded and took Gilbert towards his white ford.

"Don't smoke in the car please," Mathew said meekly. Gilbert leaned into him. Mathew's bag that housed his taser was thrown in the backseat. Gil rested his head on the dash near the driver's seat. He put his hand on Mathew's soft face, he had a flyaway hair that Gil patted down. The teen's face blushed bright red, he pushed Gilbert back down into his seat. Mathew started to drive off toward a parking lot near the school but not quite there. He pulled down the visor in his car. The school bell rang in an hour. Gilbert smirked and continued to mess with Mathew, who pushed him away again.

"What about the bro code."

"We are not bros it doesn't count." Gilbert pouted at him.

"Look man, that's just how I say hello. It's how I make friends."

"Guys can't be that desperate."

"They most certainly are."

"That's disgusting."

"I'm calling the homophobia card."

"Joke's on you gay shit I'm queer too," Mathew smirked at his small victory. He held his arms close. He took a coffee crisp out of his glove box. He looked somberly at his snack. "I never told anyone."

"What you take dick."

"Don't phrase it like that," Mathew huffed. He scoffed at the comment before settling back into the grave atmosphere the fostered. "Yeah that."

"Well man, if it makes you feel any better, the first person I told was my little brother who immediately told on me. To be fair I was sleeping with his babysitter."

"How old were you?"

"16, he had to have been six, so like three years ago."

"You're 19. Were you held back or something."

"Nah, I couldn't transfer over German credits so when my family came over here I had to go back to kindergarten."

"That's tough. Does make me feel a little better; I don't know what I would do if my brother found out. He's kinda an ass about this kinda stuff."

"My brother and I don't talk much, didn't before and really don't know."

"Yeah, I didn't know Heiner had grandkids."

"Why'd you call him Heiner?"

"He used to go to the diner I work at, so I learned it and now I do yard work for him."

"Yeesh, sorry he was probably weird and awkward."

"No Heiner's sweet." They sat in silence for a moment. Mathew sighed loudly at the end of the sentiment. Gilbert sat back again. At times like these he would simply joke but, the air felt raw and hurt. Things were out that many didn't want to be. People were out who didn't want to be. They looked at each other in solace and solidarity. Mathew got out of his car and walked towards the faculty room.

"Where the hell are you taking me."

"Detention remember dumdum." Gilbert pondered for a moment before gasping.

"Shit yeah, you tased me you nasty bastard man," getting shit faced really did blank Gil's mind. He trailed slightly behind Mathew as he walked them down the stairs towards the boiler room. "The hell we down here for, Krampus."

"Is that some punk thing I'm too nice to understand."

"No it's just cause you're a fucking white ass American with no culture fuck nut." Mathew stuck his tongue out and opened a dusty classroom door. Inside was a man with long dark hair and a messy face that desperately needed a shave. He was asleep. They sat down at a round table. At the table next store was Lovino carving at a desk.

"God fucking damnit Gil. I swear to god anytime I want to be alone in peace you come out and tempt me with your gay ass ways."

"Lovi, people are around. You really want people to know you associate with whores."

"Who the hell gonna say shit, White bread over there or the sleeper agent."

"Fair point." Mathew looked like he wanted to chime in, but he just leaned back in his chair.

"So I'm guessing you tried to suck dick in public again."

"Well your the last one who did that so, shut up."

"Oh riveting, I swear my 12 year old brother has better insults than you," Lovino started to burst out laughing at his own joke like a fucking chad. Gilbert walked over to Lovino's table and promptly just sat in his lap. "Gil, I'm only gay for you on fridays." Gilbert kissed Lovino while straddling him.

"Hey, I'm still here," Mathew peeped up quietly. He sat down at their table.

"Ciao, Bello," Lovino snickered at Mathew's confused face. Gilbert lightly punched him in the shoulder.

"I'm going to sit over there and work," Mathew mumbled.

"See what you did fuckstick you scared him off," Gilbert accused.

"No, you did that yourself. What did you hit on him and scar him for life," Lovino burst out laughing again.

"Not much, not near as much as normal," Gilbert looked around the room and in the hallway for smoke detectors. "Hey does the sleeper agent wake up if things smell 'weird'."

"No he does not. Good thought Gil, but do you have any edibles in there."

"Bitch who said I was sharing."

"Bro code. The bro code says you share weed. Gil I sucked your dick come on." Mathew covered his ears through the entire interaction. Gilbert started to unpack his bag opening a small pouch of weed lollipops, some brownies, and one bar of chocolate; and of course a pack of cigarettes and some blunts. Gil handed a lollipop to Lovino. Mathew stared at them

"Mattie baby, you want some," Gilbert smiled wickedly.

"He doesn't indulge Gil."

"You guys know I can buy that stuff in canada easily." The two of them dead panned at Mathew. "Yeah, I go over the border to my mom's house for pot all the time."

"Mattie baby, it's ok. You don't have to lie to the big bois," Gilbert said calmly. Mathew opened his bag to reveal an area sown in where he had a zip lock baggie filled with weed. "Well fuck me side ways and call me Sally." Mathew laughed loudly.

"What if you're listed as a star student they never check your bag. Even if they smell it all they do is check Alfred." Gilbert put his hand on Mathew's shoulder.

"My son, welcome to the pot heads and possibly super gay whores." Lovino hugged onto Gilbert's shoulder. They looked at eachother. "It's not gay if you say no homo," Lovino stopped speaking for a second. He pulled Gilbert close and kissed him. "No homo."

"Come on over Mattie baby. Join us. Gab with us girls," Gilbert blew kisses at Matt who inched away from them.

"You guys need to not. Look I'll supply you if and only if you don't tell a single soul about this or any of the gay stuff." Lovino and Gilbert looked at eachother. They nodded and shook Mathew's hand.

"Come on Mattie seal it with a kiss." Mathew pushed Gilbert's joking face. The teacher moved slightly. They held their breath.


	4. 3

At school that day Elizabeta pestered Gilbert to tell her exactly what his punishment was. He submitted.

"Ok you information hound, I have to have an escort from school and back, I have a Canadian dude driving me to school to make sure I don't die in a ditch."

"Awww, Gilly's got a babysitter." He punched her in the arm. "Hey I'm not lying or anything you literally had to get a babysitter because you couldn't be sneaky about how 'punk' you claim to be."

"Says the stoner who got baked with me."

"Yeah, and she has terrible judgement so, you best believe I mean it when I say you're a dumbass." Gilbert furrowed his eyebrows and stuck his tongue out at her. Eliza responded by kicking him out of his chair, jokingly. Unsurprisingly he fell and made a large bang. The classroom stared at them intently. Their teacher looked them dead in the eyes and sighed. He sent them outside and rubbed at his aching head. outside the room Lovino was being dragged off to the office by Mathew sputtering about how sorry he was. Lovino was cursing wildly. Mathew saw Gilbert and let go of Lovino's wrist. He quickly sputtered off leaving them to themselves.

"Lovi baby in trouble again," Gilbert cooed, Eliza stared him down silently saying that is was a bad idea to mock Lovino. He did not pick up on it. Lovi walked over to them he folded his arms and looked dead into their eyes. He focussed on Gilbert then Eliza.

"The fuck did you call me,"

"Ahh, love you didn't like that one. You haven't complained so far." Lovino bit his tongue and stared between the two trying to somehow communicate through telepathy that he didn't want Eliza to know he was in any way friendly.

"I don't even fucking know you dumb ass. Don't talk, look, or even think about me. Hell when you see me go the opposite direction," Lovino looked scared as he said this. Gilbert's face dropped, he looked like a kicked puppy. Lovino's face softened at this. He sighed and led Gil into a secluded bathroom stall.

"I, uh. Sorry. I kinda sorta just went into default but, you looked really hurt and like," Lovino mumbled the rest until he got to his final part,"I kinda sorta maybe care about how you feel and I uh, don't really know what to do about it." He sat staring down at the stall floor. Gilbert bursted out laughing.

"Lovi you sound like a fucking soap opera singer. What the fuck man, really. Don't over think things emotions man, they will thoroughly confuse the hell out of an emotionally constipated being such as yourself. Don't think about things too hard or how you feel just kinda vibe man." Lovino was sitting and Gilbert was standing while being an ass. He saw the opportunity, then he took it. Lovino punched Gilbert in the dick and stepped over him to get out of the stall. He turned quick on his heel and picked up Gilbert's scrunched up face. He kissed him tenderly on the lips. Deepening into something more. Eliza called from the hall. He curb stomped Gilbert, just for good measure. Eliza barged into the men's room pushing past a quietly upset Lovino. Gilbert was still on the floor writhing in pain and clutching his aching body.

Elizabeta hauled Gilbert's dumb gay ass to the infirmary and set him down. At this point he was dictating his will. The nurse walked in with a page of notes. He was a little shorter than Gilbert and a very slow walker. He had dark brown hair and almost violet blue eyes. He looked pointedly at Gil lying in bed.

"I'm Roderich the resident student nurse." Gilbert laughed.

"Pretty boy's a baby nurse, precious." Eliza slapped backhanded him. Although Roderich didn't seem to notice.

"So what caused the injury and where."

"I was trying to talk to this guy I know and he hit me in the dick and stomped me a bunch," Gilbert chuckled.

"Why did he do this."

"I am a handsome man and he was threatened." Elizabeta hit him in the back of the head again.

"He was being stupid and tried to harrass Lovino," Elizabeta said curtly. Roderiech stared down at him in disgust and confusion. He sighed shortly. He turned on his tail to grab a cold compress from the teacher's lounge a few doors down.

"Baby boy's a cutie or did I hit my head too hard. I just want confirmation before I do something stupider than this." Elizabeta's lips were pressed into a fine line. She blinked a couple times before answering.

"No, don't do it Gil."

"Huh, why is he not cute my man."

"No, I'm not saying that just please don't hit on him. For me." Gilbert was silent for a minute before laughing.

"Shit man, I thought you were a lesbo, my guy you like him," Gilbert cracked up. Elizabeta covered his mouth.

"Shut up you useless queer I don't need this from some guy who fucks every man in a fifty mile radius.

"Lizzy gots the hots for baby boy."

"Gilbert shut the hell up or I'll beat you to death with your own damn bong, you useless pothead queer." Rodereich entered the room with a cold compress. Elizabeta had Gilbert pinned to the bed while she hit him for being a dumb cunt.

"You two get off the bed. If you're well enough to fight you're well enough to be in class. Both of you will be in detention for wasting time and fighting respectively," Roderiech's eyebrows were furrowed, however he just ended up looking like an angry cat. Sure kinda angry but, mostly cute to see something so defenseless trying to be tough. Eliza and Gilbert headed out the door. Roderiech watched them leave to make sure they actually went back to class. They turned a corner losing Roderiech's stare.

"Lizzy baby, are we actually going to class or and hear me out on this I break into the teacher's bathroom and we smoke. Good plan great plan." Elizabeta stared into his eyes unamused.

"Gilbert we can't we don't got a key."

"GiLbErT wE cAn'T wE dOn'T gOt A kEy, How do you think I get half of my booze. Imma pick the lock then we smoke."

"Gilbert you can't pick locks."

"They said I would die before I hit eighteen and look still breathing. Suck it doctor Osintinskey," Gilbert started to pick at the lock jangling it about he pushed a hair pin he had in his hair to the bottom of the mechanism and put another one at the top. He tenderly turned it. The door clicked and opened. A tall man with a tanned complexion and dark brown eyes stared back at them Lovino peaked out from beside the man. He was sickly pale. His hair was ruffled and what was a fresh pressed button had obviously been scrunched up and thrown on the floor. The four of them stared at each other seeing who would break eye contact first. It was Lovino, he moved to zip up his pants. Gilbert looked down at the floor. He had a gut wrenching feeling swallowing his form. He grit his teeth, it wasn't really anger or sadness. It was simply a feeling like he broke. Though that didn't make sense why did he care. He hadn't cared about something like this before, but somehow this was different. He was hurt. Elizabeta looked over to him with a scrunched up face. The aura of the room was palpable, it was heavy with an awkward feeling. This wasn't supposed to happen. Gilbert shut his eyes tight. He turned around and walked away. His stomach was still doing flips while he walked. When he got to the door to leave the grounds he opened it. Gilbert near ran home. His GroBvater's car was still in the driveway, but he didn't care. He went through the window into his room where he collapsed on the bed. His auburn eyes welled up as his chest filled with a heavy feeling. Gil had never been a pretty crier but, this was a new one. He had snot and thick tears flowing down his pale face. The teen grabbed his bag to grab out some weed, he didn't care if his GroBvater found out he was home and smoking. He just wanted the feeling to go away. Taking a long drag out of a joint he wiped away the mucus and tears from his face. His eyes had swelled up and he was an immovable force on his bed. He grabbed some vodka out of his bedside drawer and took a large gulp, larger then he usually would. His GroBvater peaked in the door. Gilbert didn't care he just continued smoking and drinking while crying. Heiner considered reprimanding him but, he just couldn't. Instead he sat down next to him. Heiner took the vodka out of Gilbert's hand and put out the joint. All he did was hold Gilbert close and let him cry. Gil leaned into his grandfather's shoulders until the tears stopped flowing.

"What do you want for dinner, it's up to you," Heiner said quietly. He smiled.

"Can you make schnitzel and spaetzle like you used to when we had day trips at home." Heiner smiled and nodded. He gently touched Gilbert's hair before going out to prep diner. Gilbert looked down at his phone. Eliza had been texting him.

'Gil are you ok'

'Gilly baby come on where are you'

'Gilbert where the hell are you I'm worried,' Gilbert paused before replying.

'I went home, I'm fine.'

'Really, I don't believe that. You live at 4256 12th street right.' He didn't reply. In an hour the doorbell rang Elizabeta was standing there worried sick. Gilbert opened the door in his old ratty slippers a sweater his mom made and pajama pants. His eyeliner and eye shadow had smeared showing he had been crying. He smelled like booze and weed and his eyes were puffy and bloodshot.


End file.
